It
by Fumika Anne
Summary: What do I do! How do I get rid of this thing? How do I get rid of me? All of a sudden, I wish I was anywhere but here. I can't love this thing.  "Ulquiorra!" The girl screamed as she looked up into the sky.
1. The Sins of a Saint

_Wow, what a beautiful night..._

The rain poured hard, colliding with the cold road. The lightning illuminated the dark sky and the thunder roared. The wind blew furiously, sweeping fallen leaves from the ground and carrying them to the unknown.

_It's funny how day by day nothing changes, but when I look back everything was so... different._

The red headed girl stood there, in nothing but a soaked white night gown. No sweater, no scarf, not even shoes! She slowly walked around the empty park, gazing at the bright full moon.

_To think a year ago, I would have been afraid of... all this._

She stood there, cold tears running down her face. Blood was dripping from fresh cuts on her arms, but she barely felt it. She only felt a little sting.

_I'm so happy. _

_I think I took too many pills._

_I wanted to stop the pain and misery._

_It Worked._

_Hahahaha!_

_I feel nothing. Nothing but happiness. Nobody can take away this feeling from me. Not right now._

She closed her eyes with a big smile on her face. She never wanted this feeling to leave her.

_I remember, back in Hueco Mundo. I remember him._

_How in the world could I forget? Strange, I almost when a moment without thinking of him. He was so... complex to understand. He wasn't bad, but he wasn't good either. He was used and thrown away. He didn't deserve to die._

_I watched him die!_

_He didn't deserve to die!_

She dropped to the cold floor, her knees scraped as she did so. She began to sob loudly.

_I can't do this! I don't want this thing! I don't want it inside me! How would I explain this to my friends and the soul society? The sin he and I created is growing inside my stomach everyday. Everyday it gets stronger! Everyday it grows more and more! _

_I don't want it inside me! No! No! What have I done! How did I not think of this outcome ? How could I be so stupid ? Stupid me... Stupid me. _

_Hahahaha._

_A human and an Espada creating a child? I didn't think that was possible. But each day my stomach grows and grows. So obviously it is. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?_

_What do I do!_

_How do I get rid of this thing?_

_How do I get rid of me?_

_All of a sudden, I wish I was anywhere but here._

_I can't love this thing._

"Ulquiorra!" The girl screamed as she looked up into the sky.

_I'm pregnant. I wish you were here. I can't do this on my own. I don't know what to do. I need you. I love you._

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><p>Should I turn this into a multi-chap? Review please and tell me what you think (:<p> 


	2. Secrets of the Suicidal

_Where am I? _

_I feel as though I'm dying... like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I feel like I have given up on... everything. _

_Giving up has never felt so wonderful and relaxing._

_I'm dying..._

_Maybe I will see you in the next world. Maybe you and I... and it can be a family. _

_If only..._

_But I'm not ignorant... not anymore_

_Not anymore._

_I'm dying... _

"Inoue-san. Can you here me," the Doctor says to her, a little unsure of himself and her mentality. His beady cold eyes watch her, never in his life would he think that the girl before him would try to commit suicide. He had seen her before. She was one of his sons friends. The happy and overly ditzy friend.

_Someone's calling me._

_What do you want?_

"Yes."

"You're awake I see," the man in the white coat observes.

"I think so," Orihime Inoue says, unsure of herself. She doesn't quite understand what's going on yet. She hasn't fully comprehended what had happened the night before. Everything is a blur.

_Everything is a blur._

There's a pounding in her head. The pain, it's almost unbearable.

"Are you aware of the fact that you're... pregnant?" The suspicious doctor asks hesitantly. He watches her eyes widen, looking into his. It seems as though he has her full attention now.

"Y-yes, Ishida-san," the girl says as she looks down, somewhat ashamed. Ashamed of herself. Ashamed of him. Ashamed of _it_.

_It's official._

_I really am..._

_I really am pregnant._

_What if he asks who's the father?_

_What will I say?_

_What will I say!_

"Inoue Orihime. Are you in fact suicidal?" He asks, cutting to the point.

"What?" She's not sure. She wants him to repeat the question.

_What did he say?_

And then it hit her.

"Of course not!"

* * *

><p>That was easier than she thought it would be. Orihime suicidal? Who would believe that? No one.<p>

It was all just a misunderstanding.

_Just a misunderstanding._

Orihime walked through the halls of her school, she didn't want to be here. Not at all. Her grades had decreased dramatically with each incomplete assignment and poor test score. Her mind just wasn't there, school used to be a place where she could socialize with friends, be happy, and exceed.

Things changed when she had gotten back from Hueco Mundo. School had become hell. Orihime was constantly throwing up in the bathrooms during passing period, nobody knew. She didn't tell anyone. She couldn't tell anyone, especially since the father was an Espada.

"Orihime-chan. What wrong?" Orihime's best friend asked with concern in her voice.

"Oh. It's nothing, Tatsuki-chan-"

"Spare me the bullshit, Orihime-chan. Now tell me what's wrong." Tatsuki asked, her voice was more stern, more demanding.

"I'm fine. I Promise." Orihime smiled, her eyes were full of sadness and her smile looked fragile.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Orihime-chan. I know. I know what happened in Hueco Mundo. That old shop keeper told me everything. You haven't been the same since you've gotten back. I want to help you, Orihime-chan. Just tell me what's on your mind, please. I can't stand to see you hurt, Orihime-chan. Please don't hide things from me any longer, I can't stand it! Please Orihime-chan, tell me what's wrong with you! I'm so hurt, I feel like I'm loosing you and I don't know what to do!" Tatsuki explained with tear stained cheeks. There she stood crying in front of Orihime, desperately wanting an explanation.

But Orihime had none to give her...

"Tatsuki-chan," Orihime breathed. "Everything is fine." Orihime smiled with tears in her eyes, threatening to spill.

"Then why are you crying? Please, tell me the truth! I just want to help!" Tatsuki cried desperately to her best friend.

"I-I know that... I know that," Orihime started. Her smile was breaking and hot tears ran down her cheeks. Orihime tried to breathe, she tried to compose herself before she began again. But she couldn't...

"Orihime-chan," Tatsuki whispered as she embraced Orihime tightly, as if it were the last time that they would ever see each other again. "You know that I love you and that you could tell me anything, right?" Tatsuki asked, her voice was barely audible.

"I-I know... But I can't. Not right now. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" Orihime cried as she buried her face in Tatsuki's small chest.

_I'm so sorry!_

_I'm so sorry, everyone. Really..._

"Orihime-"

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave." Orihime said as she took off. She ran for the school exit. She couldn't stand to be at school any longer. It was too much for Orihime to bare.

_This is too much._

* * *

><p><em>Here I am, once again in this place...<em>

_Where I first saw him..._

_This place brings back so many memories. I remember when he claimed me as trash, he wanted me dead... and deep down I wanted him dead as well, for hurting Kurosaki-kun._

_Isn't strange how feelings can change so... quickly?_

_When I was a little girl, never would I imagine that I would turn out this way... _

_These feelings that I have make me simply miserable. If only I could go back and change everything. It's all my fault..._

_It's all my fault!_

Orihime stood in the middle of an opening, surrounded by many tall trees. Her long auburn hair danced with the cold wind.

_Sometimes I cry and wonder why things are the way they are. _

_Did he ever even love me? Maybe I'm hallucinating, maybe they're right. A hollow cannot love. It's impossible! But they didn't see what I saw. _

_So maybe, just maybe... he did truly love me._

_Sometimes I feel as though I'm half insane._

Orhime rolled up her long sleeve shirt, revealing various cuts and scars. She eyed them with remorse as she lightly rubbed them. The scratches reminded her of him, of everything that had happened in Hueco Mundo.

_I'm 3 months pregnant and I can't do this on my own..._

* * *

><p><span>AN:

I promise that the next chapter will be over 5,000 words, it's just that I was very busy this week and I didn't get the chance to write as much as I would like to.

I have some questions I would like to ask:

Should Ulquiorra to come back?

Should Orihime loose or keep the child?

If she keeps it, should it be a girl or a boy?

Should this be a dark themed story?

Your opinions matter and are very much appreciated, comment in a review please. Thank you (: !


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